i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
