Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
