I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
