she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
