I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
