she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
