What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Drunk is a universal language darling
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
