Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
