put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
