so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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