I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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