ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
he thought i was a dude.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
she pinky promised me she was 18
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
