What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
