North Korea, Best Korea!
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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