You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
