SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize