Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
