shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
