Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
