I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
She's like a pop up book from hell.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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