Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
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