Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Randomize
