do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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