so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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