we have officially lost it.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
