it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
