he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
