You're so nebulous sometimes
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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