There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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