She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
