Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
