You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
