she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
