Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
