I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
