The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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