mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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