so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
