I'd wear matching sweaters with you
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Are we still banned from the library?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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