3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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