we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
In other news, I just burned my penis
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
