now i know why i became what i already was.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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