Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
