You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
