the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
