Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
