Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Pooping to opera.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
