I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
