Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I'm always down for nudity.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
