You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
