i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
